Tennesse Folk

If you have a joke or funny story this is the place. ADULT HUMOR ALLOWED... with some exceptions possible.
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Niner Alpha
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Tennesse Folk

Postby Niner Alpha » Sat Aug 06, 2005 8:42 pm

(Harvey sent these along just today. Harvey lives in Tennessee so he has a right to tell Tennessee jokes.)

Subject: Tennessee Folk

The owner of a golf course in Tennessee was confused about paying an
invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He
called her into his office and said, "You graduated from the University of
Tennessee and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%,
how much would you take off?" The secretary thought a moment, then replied,
"Everything but my earrings."
You gotta love those Tennessee women.


A group of Tennessee friends went deer hunting and paired off in
twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering
under the weight of an eight-point buck. "Where's Henry?" the others asked.
"Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the
trail," the successful hunter replied. "You left Henry laying out there and
carried the deer back?" they inquired. "A tough call," nodded the hunter.
"But I figured no one is going to steal Henry."


Regarding the year 2000, a senior in Tennessee was overheard
saying,"When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Tennessee." When
asked why, he stated that, "Everything happens here 20 years later than the
rest of the civilized world."

The young Tennessee man came running into the store and said to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!"
Bubba replied, "Did you see who it was?" The young Tennessean answered, "I
couldn't tell, but I got the license number."


NEWS FLASH --- Tennessee's worst air disaster occurred when a small two-seater Cessna 150 plane, piloted by two University of Tennessee students, crashed nto a Knoxville cemetery earlier today. Search and rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so far and expect the number to climb as digging continues into the evening. The pilot and copilot survived and are helping
in the recovery efforts.

A Tennessee State Trooper pulled over a pickup on I-75. The trooper
asked,"Got any ID?" The driver replied, "Bout whut?"



Tennessee man had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road,
and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one
behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait. A passerby studied the
scene as he drove by and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was. The man replied," I have a flat tire." The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?" The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back! I never did understand it either."

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