Does this need a patent?

[SgtMike]

A new element has been discovered, however it's been in existence
for some years now.

Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element
yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one
neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant
deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which
are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be
detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into
contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that
would normally take less than a second, to take from four days to four
years to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2-6 years; It does not decay,
but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant
neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since
each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons,
forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe
that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical
concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.

When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium,
an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since
it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.