Retirement Bonus

If you have a joke or funny story this is the place. ADULT HUMOR ALLOWED... with some exceptions possible.
User avatar
Sponsor 2016
Posts: 234
Joined: Sun Mar 02, 2003 4:00 pm
Location: Howell, MI

Retirement Bonus

Postby Ron » Thu Feb 12, 2009 11:16 am

Here's a good one for all you 'ol Vets out there!


The Marines found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus.

They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in their body. The officer volunteering for retirement got to choose what those two points would be.

The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.

The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with $96,000.

The third one was a noncommissioned officer, a grizzly old Gunny Sargent who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, "From the tip of my weenie to my testicles."

It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big checks the previous two Officers had received.

But the old Marine insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the measurement was taken by a Medical Corps Officer.

The doctor arrived and instructed the Gunny to "Drop 'em," which he did.

The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Gunny's weenie and began to work back.

"Dear Lord!' he suddenly exclaimed. "Where are your testicles?"

The old Marine calmly replied, " Vietnam ..."

Return to “The Funny Paper”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests