they walk among us

If you have a joke or funny story this is the place. ADULT HUMOR ALLOWED... with some exceptions possible.
User avatar
SgtMike
Site Sponsor 2015
Posts: 1062
Joined: Wed May 08, 2002 11:33 pm
Location: Temecula, California
Contact:

they walk among us

Postby SgtMike » Wed Feb 20, 2008 2:12 am

IDIOT SIGHTING
We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that
one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on
the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one
Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, "Lady, you
need a 1/4 horsepower." I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, "NO,
it's not. Four is larger than two."

We haven't used Sears repair since.

IDIOT SIGHTING
My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave
the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She
said, "You gave me too much money." I said, "Yes I know, but this way you
can just give me a dollar bill back." She sighed and went to get the
manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back
the quarter, and said, "I'm sorry but we don't do that kind of thing." The clerk then
proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.

Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.

IDIOT SIGHTING
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the
local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER
CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by
cars out here!
I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore."
This happened in Kingman, KS.

IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the
person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry,
but they only had iceburg lettuce.
This is from Kansas City.

IDIOT SIGHTING
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee
asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?"
To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He
smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."
This happened in Birmingham, AL

IDIOT SIGHTING
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I
was crossing with an intellectually challenged co-worker of mine. She asked
if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people
when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind
people doing driving?!"
She was a probation officer in Wichita, KS

IDIOT SIGHTING
This happened at a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear co-worker. She
was leaving the company due to 'downsizing.' Our manager commented
cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often." Not another word was spoken.
We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.
This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.

IDIOT SIGHTING
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself
and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not
turn on.
She is a deputy with the Dallas County Sheriff's office, no less.

IDIOT SIGHTING
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our
car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service
department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the drivers
side door.
As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door
handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the
technician, "It's open!" His reply, "I know. I already got that side."
This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, Mississippi.

STAY ALERT!
They walk among us .
A true friend is someone who reaches
for your hand and touches your heart.

Return to “The Funny Paper”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests