A letter to Mrs. Jones

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SgtMike
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A letter to Mrs. Jones

Postby SgtMike » Wed May 17, 2006 9:09 pm

Dear Mrs. Jones:
Over the past six months, your husband, Mr. Jones has
been
causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot
tolerate this type
of behavior and have considered banning the entire
family from
shopping in any of our stores.

We have documented all incidents on our video
surveillance
equipment. Three of our clerks are attending
counseling from the
trouble your husband has caused. All complaints
against Mr. Jones
have been compiled and are listed below.

Mr. Wally World
President and CEO of Wal-Mart Complaint Department
MEMO
Re: Mr. Jones- Complaints - 15 Things Mr. Jones has
done while his spouse is shopping:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put
them in
people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to
go off at
5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor
leading to the
hunting dept.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in
an official
tone, 'Code 3' in housewares..... and watched what
happened.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put
a bag of
M&M's on layaway.

6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to
a carpeted
area.

7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping
department and told
other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring
pillows from the
bedding department.

8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help
him, he begins
to cry and asks Why can't you people just leave me
alone?'

9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera;
used it as a
mirror, and picked his nose.

10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting
department,
asked the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants
are.

11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously
loudly humming
the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. December 6: In the auto department, practiced his
"Madonna
look"
using different size funnels.

13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when
people browse
through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. December 21: When an announcement came over the
loud speaker,
he assumes the fetal position and screams "NO! NO!
It's those voices
again!!!!" (And; last, but not least!)

15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the
door and waited
a while; then, yelled, very loudly, "There is no
toilet paper in
here!"

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